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Internet Scams & Spams

I realize I'm lecturing a little here in the following paragraphs, so if you're only here for the humor, skip down to the links below. If you'd like to receive a couple of helpful hints or just have the opportunity to nod and say, "I know what you mean!", then read on.

As anyone who knows me (or at least exchanges email with me) will no doubt know, I am not a great fan of email spam which includes virus warnings, solicitations, petitions, and the like, because it is overwhelmingly false. It nearly always turns out to be an email hoax or an urban legend. Most people don't believe me when I tell them that, but it's true - out of all the virus warnings I have received (at least two a week) from individuals over the years, only one or two have been valid or pertinent. And almost always, they're not at all current. (It's interesting how emails that announce a "new dangerous virus" can circulate for years, long after the virus in question has been all but eliminated from the 'net.)

Some people wonder how it is I know this. For one thing, I've seen so darn many of them that I can usually recognize a false one when I see it. Here are a few clues that will help you to use critical thinking and recognize that an email might be a hoax:

  • Does the original email originate from a reputable source? (i.e. is it from a friend of a friend of someone's mother who heard it from her neighbor's traveling salesman, or is it from a nationally recognized organization?)
  • Is there a web site, an email address, a phone number, or other source that you can contact for more information or to verify any facts?
  • If it's a petition, is there a compiler of email "signatures" that you're supposed to send to? (If not, think about how anyone is ever going to receive the signatures except by magic.)
  • Is there a time limit or date given? Any petition you receive should have a time limit on it to be valid; generally there is a firm date that a petition needs to be presented if it is being used for or against a piece of legislature. If there's no date on the original email, how do you know that the dying boy whose last wish it was to receive 10,000 email signatures hasn't already passed away or (in the documented case of at least one such petition) already recovered, and wants people to stop sending him mail?

People, here's the clue that I most want to instill in you: Please understand that the worst thing that you can do is mindlessly forward the email to your address book. I can't tell you how many of them I get that are prefaced with "i don't know if this is real or not, but what if it is?" What if it isn't? You've just wasted a lot of people's time, eaten up bandwidth that other people are paying for, and reduced your credibility.

Folks, take the time to check before forwarding. It takes me an average of three minutes to find out if an email is a hoax or not. There are several organizations on the 'net that devote their entire existence to cataloging and disproving the many and various email hoaxes. Here are some links to those sites, which I urge you to add to your bookmarks:

Snopes Urban Legends Reference pages
The Hoaxkill Service
About.com's Net Hoaxes
CIAC Internet Hoaxes (U.S. Department of Energy)

Okay, you've waded through my preaching for long enough... or skipped it entirely. Either way, here are the humorous email spam tidbits:

The Gullibility Virus
Greeks Bearing Gifts
The Great Pizza Scam
Heart Warming Story

Related topic: Please see Virus Warnings.

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   This page © 2003 Dan Herrick. Yes, even if it's no good.